Hidden Away


Wow…. Christmas will be here in few days! Aren’t you excited as I am? I am very excited this year. Living here for five years now and I think this year is by far the exciting one I been looking forward everyday when I woke up in the morning. And I’m not home sick this year on this festival. Thanks God for making me feel better each year.

It’s a little different but at least I get to check on my bucket list. And I do feel really bless this year. God always do something so special to make me feel loved and that’s what I been looking for many many years! Not expecting everyone to love me but I must learn to love myself before everyone does. Not easy as A.B.C. but I can feel the door of my heart is opening slowly. Maybe Christmas is all about love. And yes God! I don’t want to feel or be an unwanted child no more and Thank You for letting me know I have a place to hide and cry when I needed you when the whole world turning their back on me. And Thank You for giving me all the patience and space in me to bottle up everything and never broke it. Cause you know, I can’t handle it if it ever break or crack. Thanks for taking care of it. I still don’t know how I survive this but I know you send an angel to protect it from being destroyed. I see in you working on me and me fighting to have a prefect life; a prefect family in my roof and it’s hard when I came from a broken family. I crawl for it but you make me walk. I learned to HATE but you stop it and changed my life for me. Oh…. God… What am I without you??  Thank You for standing by me all the time. Nothing more in the world I would ever trade. Because of you, I see things differently. Amin!


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Turkey Day!

Thanksgiving this year was a bit different than any other years. I'm hosting it at our lovely crib which we usually don't. But I love it and making me wanna do more party at our place eventhou it's a bit small. Not everyone get to see our lovely home anyways and it's a good excuse to come and see it.

So, I never cook for a party before because I'm always think that my food don't taste good and they won't like it. I take it a challenge this time and I'm glad everything went well. The menu for dinner was: Turkey of course, Curry from my friend, Yatin, Dumpling from Michelle, Calvin childhood friend from Guam, Deviled eggs (really good! with sake & wasabi on it), French green beans, Crabs which cooked by Calvin (really GOOD) and my malaysian Butter Prawns ( and everyone loves it). We have wines and cheeses as well and etc….. The list never ends…. I prepared way too much food for party of seven. Thought it's better to have more than not enough for everyone. We all well behave and none of us actually drunk which is good.

We ended up with karaoke. I had so much fun this year and actually looking forward for next year which I usually done. I always gets depressed during this time around because I had no one here and it does make me lonely and sad. Sometimes I wonder, why am I making this decision on moving over here and expect live will be the same.

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